I Didn't Die!

Sixteen days ago, I began this journey to get healthy. Getting healthy meant moving my body...well, moving it more than just to the refrigerator. So, starting slowly, I began doing a little bit at a time. I knew if i tried to do too much at once, I would get discouraged. I decided I was going to walk around my block. I had to stop four times before I made it back home. 

In the past, my twisted ocd mind would tell me that if I couldn't do 30 minutes straight of walking or aerobics then I wasn't doing anything. This go round, however, I made up my mind that even if I was only moving for 5 minutes at a time, 5 minutes was better than I was doing before. 

Then, several days ago, my dearest friend and motivator, Amy, talked me into walking with her. I'm just going to be completely honest, y'all. I cussed her the entire time. I seriously thought she was trying to kill me. The sad part is that we didn't even walk that far or long, but I really thought I was going to die. But I didn't quit...and the next day we did it again...and I didn't die. In fact, I kinda enjoyed it...kinda. When I got home that night, I walked again...and I didn't die. Not only did I not die, I made the whole block this time without stopping at all!!! 

The next day, we walked to the bank...once again, not far, but I seriously considered sucking on their helium tank to get a boost of air, because I was so out of breath. I even jogged up a hill! Holy cow, y'all! Even a fat girl can run!

Ok...so now I'm thinking this whole walking thing isn't so bad after all. I even walked to my son's school yesterday to pick him up instead of driving...and I didn't die. I thought my kid would think I had lost my mind when he came out of school and saw that I was not in our jeep. But he was so excited to walk with me...and he didn't die either! We might have even climbed some walls and jumped a creek. 

We even had a race to see who could make it to my office door first. Yep...that's right...I ran...and I didn't die. I wish I could have frozen in time the complete joy that I felt from running for the first time with my kid. Out of breath, red faced, and pouring sweat, I felt pure joy...not from eating...but from moving. So what did I do? I walked some more and some more and walked again when I got home. I walked to the gas station. I walked to the eye clinic. I walked to the grocery store. It's hard! But this morning when I woke up, I felt alive. I could feel muscles pulling and stretching and blood flowing. 

I've lost 22 pounds so far. I'm taking pictures and can't believe the difference in my face and neck in only 16 days. My skin feels hydrated and looks healthy rather than blotchy and dry. 

I am keeping a list of the things I want to do after losing weight...kinda a fat girl's bucket list, if you will. I have to see this list to keep me motivated. 

The list of things I want to do after losing weight:

1. I want to cross my legs like a lady.
2. I want to go to the movies and fit in the seat comfortably.
3. I want to go swimming…in a bathing suit…not shorts and shirt.
4. I want to repel down the side of a cliff.
5. I want to swim at the beach…and not just sit in the sand fully clothed.
6. I want to not worry that I won’t fit in a chair when I go somewhere.
7. I want to take Connor to Disney World and be in shape enough to walk and walk and walk.
8. I want to be to small enough to be able to fit on the rides at Disney World or any other amusement park.
9. I want to be able to run.
10. I want to fit in the bathtub and take a long hot bath.
11. I want to run in a 5k.
12. I want to be able to comfortably hold Connor in my lap.
13. I want to walk into a department store and buy clothes for myself that fit.
14. I want to wear blue jeans.
15. I want to sit in the beautician’s chair without fear of breaking it or turning it over.
16. I want to rock in a rocking chair with arms.
17. I want to go to the waterpark with Connor and actually slide down the slides rather than sit in the shade while Connor plays by himself.
18. I want to fly on an airplane and actually fit in one seat.
19. I want to get up from sitting without having to rock back and forth several times to get enough momentum to get my fat butt out of the chair.
20. I want to go to people’s homes and not fear I am going to break their chair when I sit down.
21. I want to fit in the barstools at my grandmother’s breakfast bar.
22. I want to slide down the slide at my grandmother’s swimming pool.
23. I want to jump off of the diving board and not fear it is going to break.
24. I want to have a man send me flowers.
25. I want to date.
26. I want to dance.
27. I want to go roller skating.
28. I want to swing at the park.
29. I want to sit in my jeep without my stomach touching the steering wheel.
30. I want to ride in other people’s cars and not fear the sit belt won’t fit.
31. Complete the 1 mile fun run in April 2013 without needing medical attention or oxygen. ;)
32. I want to go horseback riding.
33. I want to take Connor white water rafting on the Ocoee River.
34. I want to wear a dress…not a moo moo, but a dress and pretty heels.
35. I want to go 4-wheeler riding.
36. I want to go zip lining.

I know this is only the beginning of a long journey. There are sure to be times when I get discouraged, but I have short term goals, and I know I can do it. My first goal was to lose 20 pounds. I did it! Now, I'm working on losing 40 by 40. I'll turn 40 on February 22nd, and I am working hard to lose 40 by then. I have committed to do a 1 mile fun run/walk on April 21st. I'm just going to keep walking and walking and walking and little by little, I'll get to where I'm going.